Time to evaluate

So Richard and I have been talking a lot about having a baby. For some reason this Mothers day was really hard for me. I have no idea why. I got to see my nephew the whole weekend but I think that I am just really starting to get the baby bug again which I have not gotten in a long time. I also kind of think its Gods way of telling me its ok to try again. We have not tried for a baby for over a year.
   So this diet that I have been on has been going good. It didn't take much for me to give up soda I don't drink it often. I cut back on the sweet tea (I will never give it up LIKE NEVER) and eat healthy fruits. Today was wing Wednesday at Goldeez bar next door so I did splurge a little but not much. Tonight we are going to be having grilled chicken, fruit salad and salad.  Eating healthy is not so much of the problem its finding time to work out and all that.
  I literally just got off the phone with Richard and told him to think REALLY hard about having a baby. This would change our lives majorly. I think My life would be effected most. we are talking
- hormone pills ( They make me even crazier)
-Fertility drugs
-Blood thinners 2x a day (shots)
-4 pills a day
Not to mention being tired all the time, being on light duty not that I work that much. I know I want a baby but its something we really need to evaluate. Not to mention the cost of things. Im always told "You Guys are going to make great Parents look how you are with Des, or Jenee" I dont think its really the same. I am not saying I lack maternal instict but to an extent I do. I hate LIKE HATEEEE sticky and expect children to tell me whats wrong that is so different when its a baby. My other favorite comment I get is "It will all make sense when you have a baby of your own" does that mean the baby comes out with a mom box that tells me everything. I dont know these are just my outloud thoughts LOL.
  Finally my big fear is that I don't know how to slow down. I know that affected my last two pregnancies that ended in Miscarriage. I like being a busy body, I have work, school, church, couponing and being an aunt. Its amazing, I'm always told now I need to slow down but having a baby would def. slow me down. I am not sure just a lot of things to evaluate.  We wont get pregnant right away I know so we have some time. I still want to lose some weight and we are taking baby steps no punn intended