So Richard and I have been talking a lot about having a baby. For some reason this Mothers day was really hard for me. I have no idea why. I got to see my nephew the whole weekend but I think that I am just really starting to get the baby bug again which I have not gotten in a long time. I also kind of think its Gods way of telling me its ok to try again. We have not tried for a baby for over a year.
So this diet that I have been on has been going good. It didn't take much for me to give up soda I don't drink it often. I cut back on the sweet tea (I will never give it up LIKE NEVER) and eat healthy fruits. Today was wing Wednesday at Goldeez bar next door so I did splurge a little but not much. Tonight we are going to be having grilled chicken, fruit salad and salad. Eating healthy is not so much of the problem its finding time to work out and all that.
I literally just got off the phone with Richard and told him to think REALLY hard about having a baby. This would change our lives majorly. I think My life would be effected most. we are talking
- hormone pills ( They make me even crazier)
-Fertility drugs
-Blood thinners 2x a day (shots)
-4 pills a day
Not to mention being tired all the time, being on light duty not that I work that much. I know I want a baby but its something we really need to evaluate. Not to mention the cost of things. Im always told "You Guys are going to make great Parents look how you are with Des, or Jenee" I dont think its really the same. I am not saying I lack maternal instict but to an extent I do. I hate LIKE HATEEEE sticky and expect children to tell me whats wrong that is so different when its a baby. My other favorite comment I get is "It will all make sense when you have a baby of your own" does that mean the baby comes out with a mom box that tells me everything. I dont know these are just my outloud thoughts LOL.
Finally my big fear is that I don't know how to slow down. I know that affected my last two pregnancies that ended in Miscarriage. I like being a busy body, I have work, school, church, couponing and being an aunt. Its amazing, I'm always told now I need to slow down but having a baby would def. slow me down. I am not sure just a lot of things to evaluate. We wont get pregnant right away I know so we have some time. I still want to lose some weight and we are taking baby steps no punn intended
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Started with a banana pic sent to my sister
So Yesterday I was at walmart getting some fruits and veggies, and I was starving. I recently started eating healthy again to get my health under control. I stopped drinking soda, and eating more fruit and veggies. We have not told a lot of people that we are going to be trying for a baby, we didn't know for sure that we were even know its just a discussion. My sister messaged me a picture of a smoothie and I responded back with a picture of the banana I was eating. the message said "I said no to snickers and Yes to banana." Making small changes little by little to make me healthier with the idea of having a baby.
Then that got me thinking, I have a friend named Ashley who is on her own Journey for a family and they write a blog, I also have another friends who company writes a blog and I really enjoy reading them. So why not write my own blog. I talked it over with Richard and here i sit at my desk with my water bottle in hand typing away.
So why am I here? Well I am no fertile turtle, many of the other people in my family are very much so. I am not one of them. I suffer from PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and we also found out due to my last miscarriage that I have a blood clotting disorder called MTHFR. So having babies for me is not something super easy. When I got pregnant the first time it was not planned at all, we were both thrilled, excited and scared, When I started bleeding at 10 weeks they said it was a miscarriage then a week later I was still very sick, in a lot of pain and I had to have a D&C. I remember this day all too well. I am a very hard stick with needles because my blood clots off, they could not find a vein and they poked me over 12 times. This is prob, one of the first times I had seen Richard so emotional, I was crying and yelling with every poke he was begging them to stop and they had to ask him to leave. He was very reluctant and they made him. This was the first time in my life I had truly felt protected by someone who wasn't family and this was the exact moment when I truly Fell head over heels in love with Richard.
Life went on after the first and then we decided that we were going to try again. Which ended in a miscarriage, They started doing more and more tests to see what was going on and with the second test they found out I had MTHFR. What that means is my body will clot off the blood supply to the baby and it will stop growing. So when we do decide to have a baby again, I will have to take shots, blood thinners, baby aspirin, folic acid and progesterone. So since this last one it has been over a year. I took the time off to let my body heal, and to let Richard and I deal with the emotional part of it. I had a lot of hormonal issues and gained a lot of weight so that will be my first battle. That is where the picture of the Banana sent to my sister started it all.
After Richard and I discussed it, I stopped drinking soda 100%. well the whole 2 days I have been doing this so far. I drink at least 4-6 water bottles a day of water. I am going with my friend to the gym and Zumba. We will not start trying and taking fertility meds until I have lost at least 30lbs if not 50lbs. So its not going to be tomorrow SURPRISE it will take time and we totally understand that. Our time will come. Until then being an aunt and uncle and parents to our fur babies will have to do :)
Then that got me thinking, I have a friend named Ashley who is on her own Journey for a family and they write a blog, I also have another friends who company writes a blog and I really enjoy reading them. So why not write my own blog. I talked it over with Richard and here i sit at my desk with my water bottle in hand typing away.
So why am I here? Well I am no fertile turtle, many of the other people in my family are very much so. I am not one of them. I suffer from PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and we also found out due to my last miscarriage that I have a blood clotting disorder called MTHFR. So having babies for me is not something super easy. When I got pregnant the first time it was not planned at all, we were both thrilled, excited and scared, When I started bleeding at 10 weeks they said it was a miscarriage then a week later I was still very sick, in a lot of pain and I had to have a D&C. I remember this day all too well. I am a very hard stick with needles because my blood clots off, they could not find a vein and they poked me over 12 times. This is prob, one of the first times I had seen Richard so emotional, I was crying and yelling with every poke he was begging them to stop and they had to ask him to leave. He was very reluctant and they made him. This was the first time in my life I had truly felt protected by someone who wasn't family and this was the exact moment when I truly Fell head over heels in love with Richard.
Life went on after the first and then we decided that we were going to try again. Which ended in a miscarriage, They started doing more and more tests to see what was going on and with the second test they found out I had MTHFR. What that means is my body will clot off the blood supply to the baby and it will stop growing. So when we do decide to have a baby again, I will have to take shots, blood thinners, baby aspirin, folic acid and progesterone. So since this last one it has been over a year. I took the time off to let my body heal, and to let Richard and I deal with the emotional part of it. I had a lot of hormonal issues and gained a lot of weight so that will be my first battle. That is where the picture of the Banana sent to my sister started it all.
After Richard and I discussed it, I stopped drinking soda 100%. well the whole 2 days I have been doing this so far. I drink at least 4-6 water bottles a day of water. I am going with my friend to the gym and Zumba. We will not start trying and taking fertility meds until I have lost at least 30lbs if not 50lbs. So its not going to be tomorrow SURPRISE it will take time and we totally understand that. Our time will come. Until then being an aunt and uncle and parents to our fur babies will have to do :)
All beacuse two people fell in love
Our first date was at Sapp Brothers (I'm not even joking). We met up for tea and he showed me his truck and we just talked. Well more like Richard just talked, He was talking the whole time and talking a mile a minute. He says its because he was nervous. I actually didn't think he even liked me. After that one date we were inseparable. Even to this day the longest we have been away from each other was for 3 weeks.
When we started dating the first thing I told him was to Not say I love you, and that I never wanted to get married again. (We see how well that worked) He got really tired of being over the road, and I got really tired of working 24/7 it seemed. So I quite my job at the casino and he started looking for local jobs. When he found one he called his dispatcher and asked that I be there when he quite the over the road job, He called and they tried to get him to stay he said no. Then he got down on his knee in front of me in the back of his semi looked in my eyes and asked me to marry him in the Sapp brothers parking lot. I was in total shock. (You cant make this stuff up). The rest was history.
So here we are now its been 3 years we have had our ups and downs. We have gone through two miscarriages, and life has not been easy but together we always manage to make it through. So lets get down to it. WHY AM I WRITING A BLOG??? Well I am 29 years old, no spring chicken and we have talked it has been over a year since my last Miscarriage and we have decided to try for another baby in the near future. So This is just for me at first, then to keep people informed but also some people who have the same fertility issues that I have. I am not guaranteeing its going to work or we will even have a baby, if not then we will go the adoption route. All I know is that we want a family this will go into our Journey of having one.
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